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With sibling abuse, as with other forms of trauma and abuse, we can lose connection … to others and to ourselves.
When those who are supposed to love and protect us are not doing so, we learn ways to isolate ourselves, to keep others away – often with anger or shutting down.
And when we learn to shut down parts of ourselves in order to survive, we lose our connection to our whole Self.
At times, many trauma survivors feel unsafe, isolated, alone, unworthy, or unrooted, at least for periods of time. So later in life, even when we are safe, we may never feel that we are. We’ve lost connection.
But connection is fundamental to healing. With therapy and counselling, we are making important connections both to another and to our Self. We encourage seeking help when one is struggling to understand and heal from abuse.
Connecting to others with similar lived experience is also powerful and healing. That’s one of our goals with SiblingAbuse.ca … to create connections and build community.
I began this work when my childhood experience was named as ‘abuse’ by a therapist. I knew deep down that there must be others like me.
I found connection initially in a book, Sibling Abuse; Hidden Physical, Emotional and Sexual Trauma by Dr. Vernon Wiehe, which includes quotes from sibling abuse survivors obtained through a detailed questionnaire.
On dark days and nights, when I was starting to put the pieces together but still deeply troubled, I would read passages from that book. I took great comfort in hearing the words of other survivors. For the first time, I felt that I had found ‘my people’. I was not alone.
I hope this website, and the stories, experiences, conversations, solutions and wisdom that comes forward on our pages and projects, will do the same for others.
You are not alone.
