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SiblingAbuse.ca is a project dedicated to creating awareness of sibling abuse, and to building community for those directly affected by sibling abuse or who wish to learn more about it.
With the website, we will start with information, links to resources, a blog and a message board. As we gain interest, we will also gather and share personal stories and experiences on our Stories page which will, in turn, further provide material for the blog and upcoming projects.
Just naming Sibling Abuse is a vital starting point – silence is what makes it dangerous. Talk about it. Send people to this website. Check out the Resources page. Let’s make sure that everyone knows the term “Sibling Abuse”. Let’s encourage the development of programs that create awareness and make change. By ignoring this form of abuse, children continue to harm and be harmed; we are effectively condoning it and upholding the cyclical nature of violence and abuse. Let’s work together to change that.
To raise awareness about sibling abuse.
To eradicate violence and abuse between siblings.
To create a community of change and healing.
• TRUTH: Speaking truth; speaking truthfully; honouring the truth of our own experiences and those of others
This takes CLARITY
• RESPECT: Speaking and listening with respect for ourselves and each other; respecting this shared space, with the goal of creating connection
This takes COURAGE
• HEALING: Acknowledging and honouring the past as part of who we are and having compassion for ourselves and others, as we move through the past and walk the path to healing
This takes LOVE
My name is Lorene Stanwick, and, among other things, I’m a playwright, counsellor, actor, teacher … and survivor of sibling abuse. I am on a mission to raise awareness of this issue through creativity and community. I believe the arts are a vital force for healing, creating social awareness, and driving social change.
There is Power in a Name.
The call to do this work was sparked many years ago when a therapist, perhaps my 11th or 12th, named my childhood experience for what it was: abuse. The other therapists had heard my story, but they did not use that word. That changed everything.
What I experienced had a name: Sibling Abuse.
I’d thought that being teased, controlled, threatened, strangled and silenced by siblings was normal. I thought that my anxiety, depression, fear, low self-worth, substance abuse and ongoing thoughts of suicide were because I was deeply flawed. I thought there was something inherently wrong with me.
But there wasn’t. I had been abused. I understood the word abuse and its impact. But in the absence of the term “sibling abuse” in our collective vocabulary, and with all sibling conflict reduced to “sibling rivalry”, I had no idea that’s what I had lived.
The scattered pieces of who I was began to fall into place. Finding very few resources at the time, I knew I had to be a part of raising awareness. Drawing from research and my training and experience in theatre, drama-in-education and counselling, I wrote and produced, Broken Branches, a play that brings to life the impact of sibling abuse for three different characters and their families. The successful production – and powerful performances – touched a chord for many people.
After time, growth, and healing, I now understand that we all come into the world with nothing ‘wrong’ with us; we are all bright lights, shining. What happens to us – our environment – can nurture and expand that light or contract and dim it, until it seems completely dark. But it never goes out.
I hope that through raising awareness, by learning and having conversations, by sharing our stories, that we can collectively shine a light into the dark corner of sibling abuse. And that the lights of those impacted by sibling abuse can shine bright.
Told with honesty – and humour – Broken Branches reveals secrets, lies, family dynamics … and the resilience to survive. Produced by CreateTruth Productions in Association with Workman Arts, the award-winning multi-disciplinary arts and mental health organization, Broken Branches starts a long-overdue conversation, shedding light on an important yet silent issue: sibling abuse.