Resources

Personal Support

Reading, listening, talking or thinking about sibling abuse might be challenging. Please take care of yourself. Should difficulties arise, please seek help and support through your counsellor or therapist, friends, family etc. 

Below are some resources that you might find helpful. Note that they are primarily in the Ontario, Canada area, but they give you an idea of the kind of help you may find locally.

Kids Help Phone
1-800-668-6868 – TEXT 686868

Youth mental health support

 

Good2Talk

1-866-925-5454

Post-Secondary Student Hotline, Ontario and Nova Scotia

 

Psychology Today – Find a Therapist

They have an extensive list of therapists with a wide range of filters to find the best fit for you, including issues and types of therapy. This link is for Canada, but can be changed to another country with a click on the upper right.

Children’s Mental Health Ontario (CMHO)

Not direct providers of mental health for children, but parents, caregivers or children can access support from their extensive database of service providers. 

BOOST Child and Youth Advocacy Centre

1-855-424-1100

Education and direct support for children and youth who experience abuse and their families through collaboration with police, child protective services, medical and mental health agencies. 

 

The Gatehouse

416-255-5900

Support, community, and resources for individuals impacted by childhood sexual abuse

Government of Canada: Stop Family Violence

Some family violence resources, including provincial and territorial crisis lines, services, and resources

 

NOTE: SiblingAbuse.ca bears no responsibility for the support or services you find here; the above are suggestions as to where you might begin. Thank you.

Sibling Abuse Resources

When I began this work, there was almost nothing online about sibling abuse, and only a few books. Fortunately, there is more now. Here is some information – online/to read; online/to listen; books.

Read - Online

The Learning Network – Issue 21: Sibling Violence

Excellent Canadian resource, comprehensive information, presented in easy-to-read format, from the Centre for Research and Education on Violence Against Women and Children (CREVAWC) at Western University, London, Ontario.

 

7 Facts Everyone Needs To Know About Sibling Violence

A “snapshot” of the above, published by CREVAWC.

 

Sibling Aggression and Abuse Research and Advocacy Initiative (SAARA)

An initiative of the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire, they are committed to advocacy, raising awareness, and providing training both to the general public and professionals. The research team includes some of the leading experts on sibling abuse.

 

When the Bully Is a Sibling

New York Times article discussing study led by Corinna Jenkins Tucker, a leader in sibling abuse research, and on the team of SAARA (see above), based on data from 3,600 children from the National Survey of Children’s Exposure to Violence.

 

Sibling and peer victimization in childhood and adolescence  

The full research article in the journal Child Abuse and Neglect.

 

Is it sibling bullying? 

Today’s Parent addresses the issue (with further links following the article)

 

Beyond Rivalry, a Hidden World of Sibling Violence

Discussion of research led by David Finkelhor, a sociologist at the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire and part of the SAARA research team.

 

Sibling Violence

Author John Caffaro is a leading researcher on sibling abuse; good suggestions for parents. 

 

Sibling Bullying and Abuse: The Hidden Epidemic 

Posted in PAces Connection, a healing-centred social network community exploring ACES (Adverse Childhood Experiences); originally published in Psychology Today

 

How Sibling Abuse Can Affect Survivors

Includes some information on types of therapeutic interventions.

 

Sibling Bullying and Abuse: The Hidden Epidemic

Note a “sibling abuse” search from this page yields further articles from Psychology Today.

 

How to Recognize Sibling Abuse

Written by a blogger and podcaster, this is one in a series about various forms of abuse. A particularly insightful quote: “Rivalry usually ends with siblings saying something along the lines of ‘I still love you, you idiot.’ Abuse doesn’t end with a reaffirmation of familial love—it ends with words like ‘You should never have been born.’”

 

Sibling bullying: humiliated and scorned by a family member . . . this is not just ‘sibling rivalry’

One in a series of articles published in the Irish Times (links included), most of which include interviews with survivors.

 

‘It Was Definitely About Power’: The Horrendous, Hidden Impact of Sibling Abuse 

VICE explores the issue; primarily a first-person survivor’s account

 

When There Is No Getting Away: The Grief of Sibling Bullying

A powerful article, written by a psychotherapist, with an emphasis on what it feels like to be bullied by a sibling.

 

Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Guide for Parents 

A publication by the Public Health Agency of Canada

 

Sibling Sexual Abuse Facts Caregivers Should Know 

From Very Well Mind, an online Mental Health site

 

The Trauma of Sibling Abuse – A Mother’s Perspective

A mother’s journey through the nightmare of her daughter’s abuse by her son. “It’s hard to describe the maelstrom of feelings I was going through. Rage, disbelief, confusion, and fear are just a few. … The answer is not to hide the situation but rather to confront it and work it through.”

 

Discipline for Sibling Abuse 

Not a great title but the content is good – clear, concise, a “checklist” for parents.

 

Improving sibling relationships

Psychologists’ research shows that these long-lasting relationships are more critical than many people think and offers insights on how to improve them

 

How To Resolve Your Kids’ Sibling Fights

Some good conflict resolution tips for parents, found through Stop Abuse for Everyone (SAFE), a Human Rights Agency. Their newsletter once had very occasional links to sibling abuse articles; now, they are a regular feature.  

 

Seven Steps to Teaching Children Body Autonomy

Important preventative information for parents and caregivers.

 

Kid’s stuff: The nature and impact of peer and sibling violence on younger and older children

Compared to peer assaults on older youth, very young child victims were actually more likely to be injured and more likely to be hit with an object that could cause injury.

 

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) study 

A great overview and information about the original ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) study with, however, a notable absence of sibling abuse.

Listen (and Read)

CBC Radio: The Current  “Sibling bullying has the greatest impact” (May 13/16)

Anna Maria Tremonti interviews Dr. Dieter Wolke about his research on sibling bullying. 


CBC Radio: The Current  ‘I’m still petrified of her’, sibling bullying and its lasting effects (May 31/16)

Lorene Stanwick, along with two other survivors of sibling abuse, in discussion with Anna Maria Tremonti. CBC received so many letters about the initial interview, they invited Lorene and two other respondents to share their stories.


Dr. Vernon Wiehe was the first to research sibling abuse. He is the author of ten books in the field of family violence, turning his attention to sibling abuse when, in his research, he found how pervasive and under-researched it has been. He has appeared on numerous TV and radio programs discussing sibling abuse and has lectured throughout the United States and abroad.

Dr. Vernon Wiehe and Lorene Stanwick discuss Broken Branches and Sibling Abuse 
In September 2019, Dr. Wiehe attended a performance of Broken Branches and participated in a post-show audience discussion.

Broken Branches: Post-Show Discussion Footage

See all of the discussions here

Radio interview with Dr. Wiehe. Includes abuse vs. rivalry, prevalence, prevention, and the importance of listening to, and believing, children.

#SiblingsToo – PODCAST

An excellent podcast and website that specifically addresses sibling sexual abuse, a complex issue that certainly deserves its own focus, created by Nancy Morris, a sibling sexual abuse survivor and psychology researcher from Ottawa, Ontario here in Canada. “The voice of sibling sexual abuse survivors and their families. Reducing stigma with heartfelt stories and real science.”

What Would Dr. Meyers Do? (WWDRMD?) – PODCAST

Dr. Amy Meyers is a psychotherapist with 30 years of clinical experience and expertise in sibling relationships and sibling abuse. Her weekly podcast includes several episodes focusing on sibling abuse.

Read - Books

Sibling Abuse: Hidden Physical, Emotional, and Sexual Trauma by Dr. Vernon Wiehe

A deep look at the impact of sibling abuse through the words and experiences of survivors, obtained through a voluntary 14-page questionnaire. This is the study that brought the issue to the attention of the public and other researchers. 

 

A list of Dr. Wiehe’s books

 

Sibling Abuse Trauma: Assessment and Intervention Strategies for Children, Families, and Adults by Dr. John V. Caffaro

An important book that fills the void in psychotherapy training for sibling abuse, with a focus on assessment and treatment.

 

Sibling Aggression: Assessment and Treatment by Dr. Jonathan Caspi

Like the other books, Dr. Caspi looks at the causes, assessment and treatment of sibling aggression, and explores family dynamics that exacerbate it and suggests a treatment program.

 

Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Guide for Confronting America’s Silent Epidemic by Brad Watts

Brad Watts is a licensed professional counselor and Certified Sex Offender Treatment Provider; he focuses on the family system, the community and what is needed to heal both the perpetrators and victims of sibling sexual abuse.

 

Educated by Tara Westover

Tara Westover’s memoir is a powerful, gripping account of overcoming significant systemic challenges, and healing from a childhood that includes pervasive abuse by a sibling.

 

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

A definitive book about trauma. Integrating therapy with science, this research demonstrates how critical it is to understand the impact of trauma, including developmental trauma that can – and often does – develop as a result of sibling abuse.

 

Working with Survivors of Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Guide to Therapeutic Support and Protection for Children and Adults by Christiane Sanderson

For those “assessing, supporting, safeguarding or treating individuals or families impacted by sibling sexual abuse and all those working with adult survivors.”